Fruit Frenzy

I thought having a trip to Adelaide is really bad after my 2 days training. It was really disappointing having to work so continously when my work is pretty much physical. I stayed up mighty late during the night of training to study.
Then I went ahead to work a 3 day work.

No joke, it was indeed easy but I was so exhausted. By the time I was back, I could hardly move a muscle. Just laze on my sofa. But damn.. gotta wait for hair to dry.

But.. it was a nice trip. A girlfriend & I went 2 Central Market in Adelaide shopping for fruits. See... I heard cherries are in season. I'd rush for my dearest cherries, regardless the price (they claimed it very expensive). Heck, I always go for Marks & Spencer cherries in London! Costing £3.99 per 400gm!

And so, we did our fruit craze. Knowing that we'd eat all the fruits alone, we still buy as though we could freeze them or keep them. I bought a good 1.5kg of cherries (sorry friends. I've been devouring alone. If you wana share, you gotta drop by Marine Parade Road!), 2 big mangoes (one is still in my fridge), 4 figs (Hell! I didn't know figs are so mighty expensive!!!!!!!!), a humongous avocado (also still sitting in my fridge) plus 4 big portobello mushrooms & 400gm big white mushrooms.

I could have finish the mushroom, if not for my lousy so-called-fantastic-branded-Smeg microwave which failed on me after few heat.

Fruits in ADelaide is indeed cheap. Some people would insist on Quenn Vic Makt in Melbourne, but it's such a distance & erratic timing makes it impossible.

Besides, we had a fantastic dinner at an Argentinian restaurant, Gaucho. The beef is absolutely... delicious. Even the bread (olive bread) is va va voom!!!! (No wonder they charge for the bread) Plus we were having a good time teaching a Caucasian colleague pronouncing Deborah(Nicholas Tse) ala Hong Kong style: Ti-Po-Lah. I said Ti-Po-Lah. And he went Ti-Po-LAAAHHHHHH!!!!

Oh.. To the guys, did I mention the girls in Adelaide are very pretty???
The weather was absolutely lovely! People.. very laid back, nicer(slightly) than any other city in Australia or New Zealand.

Maybe it isn't too bad working continously once in a while. With all the nice company & environment.

But I can't take it. I think I'm growing old. To my friends working in office, I take off my hat to you!

Me as "Teacher"

I had a trainee under me guidance 3days ago. He's a guy. 1st day he behaved pretty badly. All of us saw him as potentially-murdered-guy at our work in the near future.

True. I had the intention as I knew he would be under me the next day.
I guess he read my body language. That I wanted to 'kill' him.

But that wasn't what I did. I trained him well. I tried so hard. (Yet, I still need to do my job) I teached him so much that I have never been so exhausted after the 'easiest' project. Pardon me. It's taught. Not teached. See? I'm still drained after so many days.

He isn't an easy student/trainee. Receptive as he is, but he isn't too initiative. His 'high-&-mighty-character perceived' makes is all the harder. He takes as much rest he can in between when I wasn't even done. Even the supervisors were picking on him. They told me. Instructed me to tell him. ( ....)

Based on this exprience I seriously doubt I can be a teacher by profession. I gave him my all for the duration of the day's work. But I still think it wasn't enough.

All my colleagues thought I was very nice to him. I explained so many things to him properly.
But at the end of the day, I had to fill in his 'report card'.
He didn't want to talk me after that.

To Hear or Not to hear.. Listen?

I wanted to talk about my appraisal but didn't know how to get about to start.

My first appraisal this year. I'd have to admit it was good. Well.. my best so far. And it is from someone in the management instead of my direct supervisor.

I asked about my possibilities of job advances. He explained to me that I should be fine, along with many good comments that I was very good with customers & that I indeed have a great potential of a good leader.
Something very nice to hear.

Until the end of the day. When he handed the appraisal to me, he admitted that I was great, I was an ideal worker.. BUT I am not a role model.
??????

"There isn't fire in you! The enthusiasm & passion is dying." Heck, how did he see that (maybe he's angel in human form) when he just said all the best things that a staff could have????

"Be very careful. Because once the fire is off, it's very hard to reignite it."
True. Very true.

Frankly.. I have been demoralized on this job for so many years. And as the day passed, the more I feel the days I'm dragging my feet to work. Even when it's the project I most look forward to. No joke, being this tired, this "condemned", who wouldn't?
I'm only human.

Still.. why he bothered telling me?? Is it because I care? Or is it as he said; I have great potential & it'll be too bad to see it go to waste?

It was a nice day at work. Although.. I was quite shocked at the end.
But that's ok. I take it as.. he sees that I care to improve. In Which I do.

Driving...

I drove home from stadium last week. With hubby's guidance, I did reasonably well. Even at parking. We did some practice late night at deserted parking before that.

My 2nd experience: Yesterday to work. This is a different office compare to the one I always go to. The traffic was busy. I didn't do too bad. But when it was up-sloped, I almost went backward. Well, there is panic there.

My 3rd experience: AFter work. That was bad. I was so busy with concentrating & taking care of gear, clutch & staying within the lane, looking so far ahead... I almost missed the red traffic light. I almost gave my hubby a heart attack. He was so panic.

Right there, a friend called my hubby. He saw me driving. My hubby hurried the phone call fearing I'd be abandoned in the guidance.

Today, my friend teased me with his motion of me holding the steering wheel with shaking hands. I messaged him last nite: "Pls pardon my driving. Only 3rd solo. And..That's only after 3 refresher classes".

I didn't wana go for further refresher classes till I'm more comfortable handling the clutch & all. The uncle spend lots of time talking. I didn't quite get him. Bcos as my hubby guided me, I felt he makes driving easier. The uncle... typically Singapore education system... must have a formula to every skill. Shifting gear, stepping on clutch, left turn, right turn, up-sloped, parking..
He said this, my hubby said that. He insisted on this, my hubby relaxed on that. But my confidence raises with my hubby's guidance.

Today, we practice smooth stopping (braking), going up slopes & stopping at slopes (although I finally managed it, I still rolled back at times).

Wow... Productive practice. Happy.

Thank you hubby!

Do Unto Others As You Wish On You

Being away from my home country Malaysia for a such long time (almost 9years), I always love a trip back to Malaysia (preferably my own home town outskirt of KL) whenever I can.
The food is fantastic, people are fine (though might be ignorant at times) and environment are pure & less metropolitan.
My best friends & longest friends are from Malaysia.

Only that my parents had ways of making these trips seem hell instead. I had enough from work. I am tired. I wish I could take a break. As a kid, I always dream of going far away (as far as USA. Moreover, USA has every freedom & rights.)
I always got screamed at & scolded at for anything that will irk them.

When I cried, I had to hide from them, cause my dad hates kids who cry. He'll be running with a sharp-&-long-as-a-sword-kind of cane if I show sign of sobbing. However, due to my fear, timit & suppression, I did end up a cry baby. I'd cry when I got angry, when I fell helpless and most especially when I had the most pathetic self-pity.

I didn't like being born this way. IT was indeed a childhood nightmare. I felt that as a kid, I was deprived of so many things, of material things that I now ended up shopaholic because I felt that I never had anything as a kid. I love to buy things that I could never have in the past. I ended up dreaming so much because I never had the chance to experience much.
Which is why I love to travel. I could be far away. Far from all the problem, far from the people who depressed me.

I came back to a sibling's home to stay. You would think there isn't anything wrong staying in your own sibling's place. However, my folks would always discourage me from going to my brother's place. Saying that I'd trouble him, or his wife, or his children. My brother & I have a fantastic relationship. And my nieces & nephew adore my husband. I adore them a great deal too.
My mum has a great way of answering questions with questions. She also has a great way with questioning everything. Plus defining answers or statement in the most unexpected way. This is where you must believe that "What you say may not be what is heard".
While I have only one sibling to love & to care. Her generation has lots of siblings to hate & to rival.

I seriously do not understand.

Whatever happened to "Blood is thicker than water"?

We ended up hiding facts from her & some other elderly. Frankly, if some people learn that "Mind Your own business" is true, there wouldn't be so many problems in our lives.
We have problem at work place, worries for our children & their safety, care & aware of our future needs & providence. Even the government make lives difficult for us. Why do people want to create more problem in lives than there already are? Worse, by our own relatives or immediate family member?

I had to harshly tell my mum to reflect on herself. Of what she has made herself to look like. Why she has grandchildren who do not really want to be close to her. (I can't say that to my dad. Because he's a stubborn Stalin who would never listen or bend.) I do have personality problem myself. But I always had to do self-reflection. No matter how I fail ( I normally blame it on upbringing) but I had to try really hard to improve myself. And although I look like I have the dream job or easy job, it's a tough surviving world. It's no joke.

Many people said I'd mature after I get married. There is a truth to this. I somehow mellow down quite a bit. My husband has been really kind. He has been very tolerant & compromising. He leads me by example. And he try to comfort me by his love. He does pampers me. Now I feel that I must do him some justice.

As for my mum,.. she found out today I came home without letting her know. She complained that we behave as though she's dead. I answered her "We treat you as though you made our lives difficult. This is true. We don't think of you as dead but I did have my many moments where I wished I wasn't born at all". Then perhaps.. I wouldn't have to face all this. I wouldn't have cause all the problems & trouble I never intended.

We behave the way we behave because we just wanted to stay out of trouble. We just wanted to have peaceful lives & live life happy ever after. Now, would anyone let us?

BAd day at Work

I normally work on days per 'project'. My last work was a nine days trip. I have a reasonably good team of people. However, I had a nightmare boss for this particular project.

He is a slave driver. When our work was almost done, he made us go around with work again, leaving us no time for our meal. I find that an inconsiderate & mean. An at every beginning of the next day at work, he'll gather us & brief us about how we never reach his standard of performance. That is not only unnecesary, but also embarassing. We had to do this in public! Gathered in our uniform & had him talked down on us as though we are kids or criminals.
I seriously don't know if he chose to be blind or he is just setting an extremely high standard for himself. Our customers at most times were pretty contented. TO think that all he does was just point fingers & order people around. I had work with bosses who personally help us on our work.

We had to be so careful of our attire, work, behaviour & everything. For everything that we do, we got negative comments or reprimand by him.
One the first day, I was over confident because I had never failed (not even once) the past 3years. I had learn lots through the hard way (some easy ways) & I had worked with all my heart & might these years. Somehow, my effort was sabotaged by one specific silly girl (one describe her as extremely hard-working but all the things she does are SALAH wan) with her silliest effort at the most wrong timing. Thus a customer was extremely angry. It was actually a small matter.

But hearing this matter, the boss & my immediate superior blamed me without finding the truth. Basically I had to take e blame simply because I am so senior on e the job, I should have known better. Besides, I'm on the direct contact with the customer whereas the other girl was an assisting agent.

I was deeply upset by this. I had to apologize profusely to the affected customer. Made myself looking like a bloody shameful idiot, swallowing up other's mistake.
Boss was deeply upset. Cause this was only the first day.

I had no more chance to prove myself.
2nd day at work. I had massive gastric. Somehow I still show up for work, despite the inability to work. I had to finish this off. Not much of a choice. Otherwise..
I seriously believe I had the gastric attack due to my uncontrolled emotion. Yes, that was bad; How my emotion affected my health. I didn't know how it was possible. BUt I remember I was in one of the most terrible state of emotional mood since a long time. Yet, my sick condition irked him to his limit. We were down by one staff. Besides, I need taking care of. I was a burden.

My next immediate supervisor is a lazy fella. I really hate her. I don't understand how lazy can a newly promoted supervisor can be. Just stand around & watch people do things. That project, it was as though short of two effective co-workers.

THe whole work lasted nine days. The whole nine days .. was a torture.

When it was finally over, I had a teammate that sighed: Finally this is over!
I felt the same way. But was worse, I never looked more tired. I normally finished work looking as though I ready to start work. This time, people asked if I had a super rough day.

9 days. 9 days was normally a pleasant project for me, for all.
But this 9days was a torture.
I felt that this 9days was more like 90days. 90days in Alcatraz. No matter how you try to escape, you'll never succeed. And no matter you manage to run, you'll still die.

I had a bad day at work.
I was very down. I feel like leaving the job. Because I may work with half this people again.